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Monday, November 9, 2009

Model Poem- Bright Star

Bright Star, would I were stedfast as thou art--
Not in love splendour hung aloft the night
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like natures patient, sleepless Eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure abultion round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors--
No--yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever--or else swoon to death.



Luminous Venus, if only I were as immortal as you--
Not alone in speldour but forever with companions
Constantly watching without faulter,
The ever enduring earth, forever vigilant,
The blowing wind purifying the air
Cleansing the land and sea,
Or contemplate the concealment on waves
Over the rocky, jagged edges of the deep sea—
No—Forever still immortal, still stable,
Pinned against true loves beating breast
Awake and alert without wasting time sleeping
But now to hear that sweet breath cease
And live with love forever—or invite everlasting rest

1 comment:

  1. After many of our tangential discussions of this poem, I was pleased to see that you decided to model your poem after it! I like that you decided to name definitively the "bright star" of your poem. Presenting us with "Luminous Venus" not only makes concrete the immortal love of the original poem (giving it an ostensibly indestructible setting), it also relocates this love from that of a seemingly lovestruck innocent to that of a (as I read) Manfred-like character. Nice work!

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